- I once smoked three
cigarettes in a single evening (I didn't know how to inhale, though).
- In Eighth grade
I went to see Culture Club perform and enjoyed it.
- When I was a little
kid I urinated into my sister's collapseable Girl Scout camping cup,
several times, until my Mom discovered it and expressed irate feelings.
- When I was an even
littler kid, Mom used to give me cold cuts and slices of American cheese
which I absolutely hated. I would take a bite out of them and then put
them behind the blue couch in our den.
- All through school,
and even in college, I rarely did my Math homework (no wonder I got
a "D" in Calc. II).
- I have killed bugs.
- Once I stole the
tip of a mechanical pencil from a store, to replace the lost tip of
a mechanical pencil I owned but had lost the tip for.
- I just ended that
sentance with a preposition.
- I voted for Bill
Clinton and probably will again.
- I have stolen pens
from work.
- I enjoy Beavis
and Butthead.
- I have stolen Halloween
Candy from my sisters and felt only slight remorse.
- I have wasted food.
- When I was a little
kid, I conspired to get my little sister Mandy to drink soapy water
by saying it was soup.
- I have vomited
as a result of imbibing exessive amounts of alcoholic beverages twice
in my adult existance, possibly three times (but the third time may
have been a result of food poisoning/allergies).
- I have conspired
to view attractive women's anatomical features when they have been wearing
loose-fitting and/or revealing garments.
- I have secretly
hoarded Victoria's Secret catalogues and Sport's Illustrated "Swimsuit
Issues" for aiding in the inappropriate infliction of self-pleasure.
- I imbibed alcoholic
beverages before I reached the legal age of 21.
- I
used to spend all my time playing Dungeons & Dragons and still own
all the books, dice and little lead miniatures.
- Some friends and
I once attempted to steal construction barriers. We were, however, unsuccessful.
- I vistited Playboy,
Penthouse and Hustler On-line before they were censored.
- I won the computers
and math division of the Science Fair at my school when I was in sixth
grade, with a program that a friend of mine had written some of (but
I translated it to TRS-80 BASIC, added ASCII graphics and tripled the
amount of possibilities for game play).
- Before I had any
idea what tampons were for, I used to take them from under the sink
in my mom's bathroom and put them in the toilet, because I thought they
would make flower-shapes like on the box. This made mother angry.
- I used to like
Bon Jovi. (I don't anymore, and I, fortunately, never bought any of
his albums).
- I still like John
Denver and own a copy of his Greatest Hits CD.
- I didn't read most
of my assigned reading all through my education. In fact, in senior
high school English, the one book I read was Lord Of The Flies. (However,
as a result of the ironic ways of the universe, I received my lowest
paper grade of the year ON IT).
- I am white, and
I am male, ...I'M SORRY! I WAS BORN THAT WAY!!! WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT
IT? PLEASE DON'T HATE ME FOR WHAT I CAN'T HELP!! I'll TRY TO REFORM!
I WON'T GIVE IN TO MY DEFAULT PRIVELIDGED STATUS! I WON'T BECOME A REPUBLICAN
WHEN I GET OUT OF DEBT!
- I'm supposed to
be working on a sound design project right now, ...whoops, better go!
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